Let's see how much I can get here.
Five years ago, during the holiday of Simchas Torah, my then fiance decided that she actually didn't want to be with me and I think that was really it. That was the last time that I attended that sort of Simchas Torah celebration. The two that I attended after that were more of a hashkama minyan sort of thing - less tinny-nai-nai, if you know what I mean. Then for two years there were no services here. And this year was the first year that I had the tinny-nai again. I was reminded of how joyous I was five years ago and how crushed I was a little bit later.
I wondered to myself if it really meant that maybe part of me wasn't over it. I'm not sure. That would be pretty sad if I were still so upset over something so stupid that happened five years ago. I suppose I should really stop wondering about 'what-if' scenarios because they are almost all bad in the end.
Everything happened the way that it did for a solid good reason. I just may not know what the reasons are - and may not ever know them. That's okay with me.
