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remind me to finish that story from the last entry. - hip hip queens-ray! kew them gardens. — LiveJournal
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remind me to finish that story from the last entry.
Yes, there was more to it.

Let's see how much I can get here.

Five years ago, during the holiday of Simchas Torah, my then fiance decided that she actually didn't want to be with me and I think that was really it. That was the last time that I attended that sort of Simchas Torah celebration. The two that I attended after that were more of a hashkama minyan sort of thing - less tinny-nai-nai, if you know what I mean. Then for two years there were no services here. And this year was the first year that I had the tinny-nai again. I was reminded of how joyous I was five years ago and how crushed I was a little bit later.

I wondered to myself if it really meant that maybe part of me wasn't over it. I'm not sure. That would be pretty sad if I were still so upset over something so stupid that happened five years ago. I suppose I should really stop wondering about 'what-if' scenarios because they are almost all bad in the end.

Everything happened the way that it did for a solid good reason. I just may not know what the reasons are - and may not ever know them. That's okay with me.

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feeling: : awake awake

2 commentaires and Leave a comment
pele_amelika From: pele_amelika Date: le 08 octobre 2007 00:57 (UTC) (Lien)
Oh man. The whole break-up thing is always so awful on both sides. Yours I can't even imagine since she was a fiance. I get a little bit what you mean about the nostalgia suddenly hitting you freshly and painfully:

I saw my ex at Seattle U (he lives in Bellingham at Western, about 90 miles away, so it's not exactly a walk in the park to drive down) on what would have been our 3rd year anniversary together. In his car, right in front of my eyes as I had chanced walking on that part of campus. So fucking weird, no?
gordond From: gordond Date: le 08 octobre 2007 01:09 (UTC) (Lien)
I would say that is what we of the jewish variety call Hashgacha Pratis which basically means G-d's hand was right there, pushing you in that direction - for what reason? Well, that's one of those 'up to you' kind of things. There is, of course, a reason.
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