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why. why. why. - hip hip queens-ray! kew them gardens. — LiveJournal
hands up *clap* *clap* hands down
gordond
gordond
why. why. why.
it's the middle of the afternoon and all I've accomplished today is eating a piece of pizza. I woke up only a couple of hours ago, and I think I probably could have stayed in bed longer. For example, forever. I feel like absolute hell right now. I pulled myself together enough to wash before the bready meal and to say Bircas Hamazon afterwards (although seeing the wedding listed on the cover of the bentcher was really depressing) and I found out that there really is a gaming cable channel which has some really horrible programming.

The most interesting thing that happened on the trip was when I arrived at the Los Angeles airport and went to the gate where I was supposed to be departing from. The flight was not supposed to be for another four and a half hours, so of course I (being exhausted from all the flying previous to then) decided to sit there and wait. I may have cried, or not. I saw a woman coming out from the gate - one of the people that arrived with that flight from wherever it was. A few hours later, the woman came back and asked me if she had seen me earlier in the day. I told her that she had. Through the luck of modern airplane construction, I ended up sitting in what was designed to be Business class, with really great seats, even though I only paid for Economy. She sat next to me, because she wanted to hear my interesting story. I told it to her, and she told me that I hadn't dated long enough to get engaged in the first place. Sort of what everyone else has been telling me.

Afterwards, she went to shake my hand but my hands were conveniently full. I told her that also, I don't touch women. She probably then thought, wow, what a weirdo.

Last night, I went to see my new apartment - it's great. It would be greater if none of this crap had happened and I was still a little more than a month away from getting married to a wonderful person, but apparently I must not be meant to be getting married. Or something. Go figure. All those commitment phobic men out there who are getting married, and then there's me, who has been dreaming of getting married since I was a kid, and nobody will come near me with a five hundred meter pole.

feeling: : lonely lonely
la musique: : Chobits - Let Me Be With You

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Comments
batshua From: batshua Date: le 10 octobre 2002 14:05 (UTC) (Lien)
Do not give up. You will find her.

Perhaps there is some meaning to the heartbreak you experienced; we cannot know.
(Deleted comment)
gordond From: gordond Date: le 10 octobre 2002 16:35 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: Welcome back to NA :-)

well this will sound horribly closed-minded, but to me there really is one sort of Judaism, and people are observant / trying to be observant, or they're not / don't want to be. I'm trying to be observant. In my case, asking a bunch of silly questions is the best.
(Deleted comment)
gordond From: gordond Date: le 12 octobre 2002 20:47 (UTC) (Lien)

Re: Welcome back to NA :-)

To me, it doesn't feel even a bit fundamentalist.

To me, we too celebrate the fertility / moon things. We celebrate the fertility thing by not touching our wives during a certain period of time, and enjoy the other aspects of the relationship. We are more intimate in the mental sense, so to speak.

A witch, yes, according to the Torah, should not be allowed to live. However, the status of witch can only be judged by what is called the Sanhedrin, a group of 70 judges who ruled during the time of the Temples, each of whom was beyond intelligent - required I think 80 languages - and only then could any sentence be passed. I'm not sure anyone was ever actually tried under that law. There wasn't exactly cause for a case to come up, I don't think.

The only thing I find difficult is having to explain that I don't shake hands with women. It would be a lot easier if I were married, as then I could say "my wife and I don't shake hands" and it would then be perceived in a more romantic tone. But the fact is that the only woman I want to have physical contact with is the person that I'm one day going to marry, whomever she may be. If such a person exists.
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