March 30th, 2003

DOOL Steve Kayla Cheers!

Good shabbos, and a scary dream last night

This last shabbos was quite good. I read through the book about procrastination, and suggested it for a few people I know at the yeshiva, each of whom felt the need to make the stupid joke, "Well, I'll read it later". I guess it was a little funny the first time I heard it.... well it would have been had that joke not been so obvious from about twenty light years away...

I think I've found a family I'd like to go to on a lot of Friday nights, and a family I'd like to go to for Shabbos lunch meals. The lunch meal family seems more eager to see me on a regular basis, though. So I might have to vary the evening meal with a couple of other families, both of whom seemed to want to have me. But maybe they're like that with everyone. Er... is that my low self-esteem acting up again? I find it so hard to accept a compliment, but derisive remarks are so easily accepted. Not good.

I had a scary dream last night that I was saying Kaddish. I don't know for which parent it was. The part of the dream that really disturbed me was that I was thinking, while saying Kaddish, about how well I was saying it without stumbling over any words. Not that one of my parents had died. Not that I was upset over the loss. No - that I was saying it so carefully and clearly. I almost wanted to call my parents this morning to see if they were all right. Geepers. Maybe it has something to do with the story I'm writing about a girl who is sitting shiva. You think?
  • Current Music
    Love Hina - Sakura Saku [Lullaby Version]
DOOL Steve Kayla Cheers!

....need.... research

I need to do some research before I can feel competent enough to write a story about an observant person who is sitting shiva. There are so many questions I have about what is permitted and what is not permitted. What I'm going to do is read a book called "Mourning in Halacha", which basically covers all of the issues. Then I can get to the writing.

But then, I could always do the parts of the story that I know are okay. Like visits from people, conversations on the phone that don't involve the character saying "Hello" or other greetings.... hm..

Yeah. I should do that.
  • Current Music
    Bach - Glenn Gould - Goldberg Variations (1982 Recording)
DOOL Steve Kayla Cheers!

should be sleeping right now.

Really, I should be sleeping right now. I just can't figure out how to burn this stupid cd properly and keep the files in their proper folders, etc. It's just putting all the files in one large directory, which is not good at all for file transfer. Alas. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

Today was great. I mean, apart from the part when I thought my stepfather hated me. We went shopping, and I got some really good stuff - including the Artscroll Bava Metzia first volume.

As I see I haven't mentioned it yet, I had a class which went really well. I gave over a piece of Gemora really well and everyone told me they understood it a lot better. And did I prepare a lot for doing it? That was the other question. But the answer was no, I didn't go over it at all other than the one or two times we read it in class. Which could mean, with all thanks due to Hashem, this could be something I'm good at. So I'm considering smicha. Sandra said she would be thrilled beyond belief if I were to become a rabbi. More so than if I were to be a doctor, or a professor, etc. But I have to figure out if I really do want to be a rabbi, or if I was just lucky in learning for a week.

Still no rain coat - but my mom has one at home that she got from SYMS - and I'll look at some more if I don't like that one. Nice Pesach gift, right? I think so.
  • Current Music
    Kenshin - Sobakasu